"If I want to be free, I've got to be me. Not the me you think I should be, not the me my husband thinks I should be, not the me my kids think I should be, if I wanna be free, I got to be me! Then, you better know who me is."
Do you know who your 'me' is? Are you honoring and living as your true self?
Are you living as the person you wish to be, or are you living as the person someone else wants or expects you to be?
Many people are unaware of their right to choose who they want to be. None of us are limited to who we became growing up! We all can change whatever part we dislike about ourselves. You see, from birth, we were programmed to do, live, and think like the people in our environment. Our specific way of being, is so deeply engraved in our subconscious minds, that we seldom or never consider our ability and right, to choose who we wanna be, what we wanna have, or how we wanna live.
Have you ever defined what you consider freedom to be? For example, would freedom mean living on a remote island or being financially free? Would you consider yourself free if you spent more time with your loved ones, or would freedom be doing what you love with your time? Have you ever taken the time to write down what you would love to be, do, or have? Have you ever spoken openly about your desires?
You see, most people who dare speak their truth, get shot down by parents, teachers, friends, partners, etc., who tell them not to venture outside the parameters or lines laid down by the tribe. They might say things like: "Don't be a tall poppy, now!" and "If you wanna stick around with us, you better get off your throne!" or "When in Rome, do as the Romans do!" "Conform!"
Obedience to what others expect of us starts at a very young age! I distinctly remember how my grade 4 teacher, spanked me on my legs, for not coloring between the lines! I assure you, that painful hiding from Ms. Becker, was as traumatic as it was painful, and I remember it to this day! You see, I am a creative person, but I am pretty sure I never crossed a line in her class ever again!
Did you have a 'Ms. Becker' who forced you to conform to fit in? Were you ever ridiculed or punished for your 'wayward thinking?' Or, did you embrace conformity to play it safe and prevent unnecessary drama? Did you figure out it was safer to suppress your authentic self for the sake of others, instead of showing the real you to the world?
Sadly, if you have stepped into the trap of conformity and self-suppression for the sake of keeping the peace or fitting in, you probably didn't realize how harmful suppression is to your existence! An unbalanced willingness to abandon your dreams, interests, and desires for the sake of others, is never a long-term plan for success and achievement. Self-suppression lowers your sense of self-worth and weakens your inner self-image. A poor self-image and low self-worth always show up in a person's results!
So, how do you know if you are not expressing your true self?
One of the first symptoms of lack of self-expression is a strong sense of disconnecting from people and life. Even when faced with a life-threatening experience, it doesn't faze or move you at all.
I know a lady who had a black-out while driving. Her car sped over into the oncoming traffic lane, bumped into the freeway's sidebars, and came to a halt in a ditch next to the road. When she awoke, bystanders were shocked to find her alive! She got out of the car, dusted herself off, drove off, and made nothing of it! (Yes, her car barely had a scratch on it!)
She refused to go to a hospital and only told her family about the incident, much later that night. You see, her disconnection with life, caused this abnormal response. Weeks later, when we met over a cup of coffee, she shared her lack of self-expression due to challenging circumstances at home. We discussed the negative impact of her self-suppression and how to alter it. She did the work, and a few months later, she met her soul mate, and she lives life according to her standards now.
Other symptoms of self-suppression are numbness, indifference, coldness and unexplained anxiety, nervousness, low energy levels, laziness, procrastination, unexplained stress, forgetfulness.
If you are committed to becoming a high-performing individual, you must uncover your true self and create and build your life and business from an authentic space. If your self-image is poor and your paradigm remains programmed with ideas of self-sacrifice and rejecting the good that comes to you because you want others to have it instead, your business will not take off. Rather, your feelings of unworthiness will prevent your business from soaring!
Sure, we all love giving and serving others, but you can only give freely once you have things to share! You must first create a successful business if philanthropy is your passion!
Our paradigms make or break us! Paradigms rule our lives; although we choose to believe we make our own independent decisions, we actually run on autopilot! Only when we decide to take back control and do the work to re-program our paradigms, we experience quantum leaps and the breakthroughs so many people are waiting in vain for!
Update your self-image, stop placing yourself last, end express yourself, and discover and live as the 'me' you wanna be.
I am Alta Nel, a high-performance mentor who helps soulful entrepreneurs, and individuals upgrade their consciousness and effectivity to stand out like red lipstick by using their marvelous minds. If you are committed to building a new life, and a solid business and you are willing to do the work, reach out to me. I believe in you!
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Remember you are amazing!