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End Self-Abuse: Let all shame and self-criticism go

Updated: Nov 8, 2021

How many of us can manage to pick up a mirror, look into it and say to ourselves: ''I love you, dearly?''

How many of us can genuinely tell ourselves that we respect and appreciate who we are?

How many of us can boldly state that we do everything in our power to honor our uniqueness?


From my experience with clients: not many at all!

As children, we identify closely with our parents and caregivers. We take on their attitudes toward us. If they make us feel loved and honored, we feel loved. If we are unloved and abused, we lose our sense of value and uniqueness. Suppose we learn to believe that we are not unique and special. In that case, we abandon our true self, for we learned to think we were not good enough and therefore continue to afflict ourselves with the same abuse even after the original abusers were long gone. If we disconnect from ourselves, we feel lost, lonely, and disconnected from our existence. If this happens, we lose our center. When we lack a strong, balanced center, we feel empty and unfulfilled and unable to share our gifts with the world.

To live a meaningful life, we need to honor and love our true selves. In general, self-love means that we choose to treat ourselves in the same way we treat anyone else whom we love:

  • respectfully

  • honestly

  • compassionately

  • with understanding

  • with patience.

Because our relationship with the people around us reflects our relationship with ourselves.

Handy Tips To Restore Self Love:

  • Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love and honor yourself.

  • Forgive yourself for unknowingly denying yourself the right to existence.

  • Spend time reflecting on your values and beliefs and determining which are yours and someone else's.

  • Honor your value system from now on

  • Filter all messages and comments about your worthiness, value, and abilities or lack thereof.

  • Reject abusive remarks

  • Accept loving messages and comments.

  • Listen to your inner voice, your true self, and honor that part of you.

  • Let go of all self-limiting beliefs.

Once you can love and nurture yourself, old negative patterns will seize to repeat, and your life will take a turn for the better, and opportunities may just come knocking at your door! Love Alta


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