top of page

4 Things You Must Know If You Lack Confidence

(click image for video)

It's hard to navigate life when you lack confidence. The truth is, you don't enjoy saying negative, critical things to yourself! You don't really enjoy making negative jokes about your looks or abilities, and it is not nice to always think other people are so much better than you!

When people lack confidence, they tend to wonder why they are here, what the purpose of life is, why they drew the short straw in life, and why life has to be so complicated for people like them.

The question you need to answer is, were you born to live victoriously, or were you born to suffer and endure heartache all the days of your life?

In this post, I will share 4 things you must know if you lack confidence that will hopefully pull you up from the doldrums of despair and give you hope!

"You're NOT very smart for a Ph.D.!"

So you lack confidence, and you would love having more guts. You are not alone! most people believe they lack confidence, and sadly most people think nothing of it!

Indeed, people are so familiar with having low self-worth that they accepted it as part of their identity, while it is a trait that can be developed!

Last week, I asked one of my clients if she could recall when she lost her confidence. She said she always had to work hard for what she achieved and therefore felt competent and able to do her work. But then, one day, while in a heated argument, someone commented:

'For a Ph.D., you're NOT very smart.'

That was it! The statement shocked her and triggered a response that released a deep-seated fear: the fear that she wasn't smart enough to master a high-flyer corporate position!

At that moment, the shock shifted how she saw herself and shattered her confidence!

Since that day, she has been looking for validation that she isn't good enough for her corporate role. And, of course, she found it!

In meetings, when someone offered a valuable opinion, she would not acknowledge the person's contribution and kept quiet and beat herself up, asking:

"Why didn't I think of that? I'm really NOT smart enough!'

The good news is that you do not have to continue down this path! You can alter your course! It is never too late to do something about your lack of self-confidence!

In fact, it is essential to reach for help when a lack of confidence interferes with your ability to get a good job, build a business, and earn the income you desire!

Here are 4 things you must know if you lack confidence.

#1 Confidence is NOT the absence of fear

When we lack confidence, we compare ourselves with people who seem to be fearless. We watch people speak to large crowds, wear their hair as they choose to, start a business or share their message with the world, and we admire them. We assume they were born with confidence and wish we were so lucky!

Seeing how fearless your heroes pursue their goals and how effortlessly they spread their message today, does not mean they were always that confident! On the contrary, they only decided to feel the fear and do what they wanted anyway! And if they were once terrible at speaking in front of a camera, cutting hair, cooking, or sharing their opinion, they pushed past the fear and practiced until they got better at it!

Hear this! confident people feel as much fear as everybody else! However, they don't allow fear to prevent them from taking action. On the contrary, they acknowledge the fear, push through it, and use it as a sign that they are moving in the right direction!

#2 Lack of confidence is NOT your fault!

Indeed, your lack of confidence is not your fault! So stop blaming yourself for being so fearful, reserved, and afraid to leave your comfort zone and denying yourself the right to live courageously!

Like all newly born babies, you actively absorbed ideas from your environment subconsciously in the first 6 years of your life.

For example, you absorbed what your parents thought about your timely or UN-timely birth, money, the right to pursue a dream, ideas about your future, and their ability to care for you.

But, let's face it, not all caregivers are aware of and know to tread lightly around their baby's subconscious mind! They said things during the heat of a quarrel and probably didn't mean it, but our subconscious minds could not reject any of those ideas! It can not reject ideas! It only accepts!

Sadly, once you became more aware at age 6 or 7, you were already programmed with ideas around your worth. So, you may sit there and wonder where your lack of confidence came from or what triggered it, and it might very well be that you inherited or absorbed it from your environment as a baby.

So, your lack of confidence may not be your fault! However, you must do the work to correct your programming and thereby change your life! Indeed, there are ways to do it!

If you leave your low self-worth and lack of confidence-conditioning as is, you will never reach your potential, never be brave enough to speak your truth, NEVER step into your purpose and silently, disappear into the shadows.

Note, you do not have to remain a victim of unfavorable conditioning! You can change it!

#3 Confidence is a choice!

Someone once said F.E.A.R. is only False Evidence Appearing Real!

And both fear and faith require you to believe in something you cannot see. So, why choose fear instead of faith? And why choose low self-worth above confidence?

Ultimately, it boils down to a decision to be confident, anyway!

Learning to live confidently after living as if you had no confidence will require re-programming and some committed personal development, but you can do it! I won't try doing it without a mentor though, but with the proper guidance, you can develop your confidence rapidly.

Decide to take control of your future. Commit to doing the work to update your subconscious programming and develop confidence and self-worth today!

#4 You are MORE than your label!

You are more than the label around your neck indicating that you lack confidence!

Since birth, we each have loads of untapped potential meant to be developed. Confidence is the by-product of careful nurturing, cultivation, and development of the trait.

So if we lack confidence, does it mean we are doomed to live without it?

NOOOOO! We can develop confidence if we want to!

Indeed, if your caregivers, parents, community, teachers, friends, and family failed to install confidence and self-worth in you, there are ways to change your programming, starting today!

Listen, God created you in His image! You are God's highest form of creation!

You and I were blessed to have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the heavens, the livestock, the entire earth, and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth, according to Gen1:26!

As we were ordained to have such dominion, we must undoubtedly have the power to take on the challenge confidently! So ditch the low-confidence label like a hot potato! It doesn't serve you anyway! Let me help you.


The answer to my question, "were you born to live victoriously, or were you born to suffer and endure heartache?" is obvious. We were born to live victoriously and confidently, honoring our worth! And if you believe anything other than that, you have to do the work to change that limiting belief!

The 4 things you must know about lack of confidence are:

#1 Confidence is NOT the absence of fear

#2 Lack of confidence is NOT your fault!

#3 Confidence is a choice!

#4 You are MORE than your label!

If you are stuck in the doldrums of low self-worth and lack of confidence, Commit to seeking help and doing the work to update your subconscious program and develop the confidence and self-worth you lack today!

Do not let anything stop you from stepping into your power and purpose.

I am Alta Nel.

Blessings to you!

3 views0 comments
Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page